Does life really go on?

There are sometimes when you don't want to write or talk about a few topics. And there can be a number of reasons why you may not want to do so.

Even as I write this blog post, I wonder if it will make any significance at all. Yet, I cannot let go of the nagging feeling that tugs at my heart when I read the news about a juveline ( the accused from the dec 2012 rape incident) being released of a punishment he rightly deserved.

As I read the mother's plight who is clearly unhappy with the verdict, I can only imagine the pain she has to undergo as she waits for her daughter's rapists to be punished. 

I wonder why her daughter was chosen to have embraced death in the most brutal way. I wonder why her mother was chosen to fight for her dead daughter's injustice. I wonder why we are chosen to undergo situations in life of which we don't interpret to be of any meaning at all.

As usual, there are simply no answers to the questions we pose to nature or the Gods. Yet, "LIFE GOES ON" seems to be the only truth man has ever known. 

Does life really go on for the mother of the girl who patiently waits for justice fighting against the odds?

Rest in Peace dear TELEGRAM

Over the recent years, we have noticed the leap of evolution that has occurred in the communication industry. Since the advent of mobile phones and e-mails, we are now living in the era of skype and whatsapp (which are currently the mostly used forms of communication modes added with a number of other apps that support only FREE video chatting and messaging).

Even as we move ahead leaving behind the paper mode of communication and switch to the feel of an instrument in our hands to receive a message, the good old telegram has served its purpose for the best. Invented in the nineteenth century, the telegram was once the only mode of communication to deliver messages.

In fact, I recently learned that the news of my birth was delivered to my relatives through a telegram. I laughed when I heard that they had sent only two words in the message. “BABY BORN”. It is understandable given the fact that the cost was calculated from the size of the message.

It is funny that we are able to write long texts and pages of information now for free of cost. All we have to own is a computer or a latest smartphone and communicating becomes that easy. In fact, we are exchanging information so much that the instrument has become a part of our lives without which we can no longer think of existing. (At least, until the next invention takes over the current modes of communication).

Before the mobile phones and e-mails become extinct, let’s make the most of it so that we live long enough to tell stories to our future generation about the “first smart phone I used” or “the days when we used to e-mail”. I know it’s funny to think of someday when e-mails and mobiles become extinct. Not that it will occur right away but it will, someday, centuries ahead.
For now, let’s just put the good old Telegram to rest.

A flowered Lamp Post

A little over a month ago, this lamp post is where a young man met his death in a road accident in Providence Rd, Charlotte. I just happened to cross by when I clicked the picture of the post covered in flowers. Until now, the flowers seem fresh which indicates that they are being replaced by the beloved ones of the young man.

The lamp post which has only served its purpose to spread light in the dark has now become an epitome of memory. The young man breathed his last at this lamp post, where his soul departed to the heaven. The lamp post which was an ordinary negligible post will forever be a remembrance for his beloved ones.

The Art of "WAITING"

I have always observed that most of the times we spend our lives in waiting. At any point of time, we are waiting for something to happen - waiting for the call interview, waiting for the perfect soul mate, waiting for approvals, waiting for a promotion, waiting for the next big event that will, according to us, bring our life to a proper path.

Sometimes, the waiting times can be frustrating and annoying when things do not seem to happen no matter how hard you try. Most of the times, there is no trying involved - all you can do is just 'wait'. Some people give up and go about their lives making compromises and assumptions with a change of heart but there are those who are determined to wait no matter how endless it seems.

One such person who is waiting, yet for a different reason, is Amol Dalvi. This 30 year old is waiting for a glimpse of his parents who are in the missing people list formed from the Uttarakhand floods that have devastated numerous lives. Ever since he heard the news of the floods, he has made Rishikesh his temporary house.

At the crack of dawn, he wakes up and patiently waits at the bus station. As he observes every passing bus that arrives loaded with people, his eyes hungrily search for the faces of his parents. When he doesn't find them, he does the same thing all over again the next day. As he continues waiting for his parents, his faith keeps the ray of hope alive in his heart that he will meet them someday.

I know we all wait for different reasons because we all want different things from life. Each one of us knows the agony of waiting when we are waiting for something that is important to us. But somehow, I feel that Amol's wait is more different from most of us. Even as we lose patience while waiting and tend to take decisions to beat the agony of waiting, let's remember Amol who is also a victim of the endless wait.

Sometimes, a little more waiting is all that is needed. So let's learn the art of waiting as we pray for Amol.

Why you should fall in love IMMEDIATELY….

Life is already so complicated that we, humans, make it even more worse with our thought process. One of the thoughts that make our lives miserable is the word ‘COMPARE’. Endless comparison with our neighbor, our friend, our colleague, our family and our spouse also!!!

There are two sides to a coin and also comparison. You can either feel good or bad about comparison.

Scene 1: Imagine you’re walking down the road. A poor man shabbily dressed wearing his brightest smile passes you. Immediately, you bless yourself because you have the comforts of being fully clothed and you obviously ignore his smile.

Scene 2: Imagine you’re walking down the same road. A rich man dressed in one of his best blazers crosses you in his black royal Mercedes wearing a glum look. You’re disappointed because you don’t own a car or a blazer but you obviously ignore the glum look because you don’t care. All you care is about what you don’t have.

So you see how comparison makes you feel bad and good, of course, it’s only temporary. These good and bad feelings keep fluctuating throughout the day when you mentally keep comparing yourself with every other person you meet.

“Oh, she doesn’t have enough money. I am lucky.”
“Man, I wonder how he bought that smartphone. I wish I had the money.”
“Gosh, I can’t believe she lost so much weight. Being beside her makes me feel huge.”
“Looks like she is gaining color on her face. I should start doing something as well.”

These are just some random thoughts which pops into our heads when we ‘COMPARE’ ourselves with every other person you meet. Imagine if you do this all day. Wouldn’t your head burst with these crazy thoughts? Guess what, even if you’re not aware of it, you are doing it throughout the day without thinking.

And for the better part, if you decide to stop shuttling your heart and mind between these seemingly unreal temporary good and bad feelings, there is actually a way to feel good about yourself ALL THE TIME. Yes, you heard it right. All the bloody time!!!

It’s a really simple mantra. You just have to fall in love with….YOURSELF. And when you do that, you don’t bother yourself about levelling yourself with another person because you know that you are the best and that nobody can be like you.

Even after reading his, you are whining under your skin, thinking how is it possible to feel good about oneself all the time. Yes, you have to feel good ALL THE TIME. It’s hard, because we all want to be different people so you will need practice to fall in love with yourself.

“But, I am so fat. These skinny looking girls make me feel inferior.” – Tell yourself, “Screw them. There are many fat people who have been famous. Moreover, there are better problems in life to think about than worrying all the time about being fat.”

“She makes more money than I do.” – Tell yourself, “Am I not happy with what I have? If not, I should be working harder. If yes, then I should ignore others and start being happy.”

“He is luckier than me. He got all things easily in life.”- Tell yourself, “I am in this situation because God thought I would learn something. I can be equally lucky if I start treating myself lucky.”

Phew! I can give endless examples but I guess you get the idea. There is really is no time for fretting and brooding with the limited time that we have on earth. You may as well learn to accept for what you are by simply falling in love because every human being is EXTRAORDINARY.

You are SPECIAL.

A movie with perfect flaws: Ayalum Njanum Thammil

Ayalum Njanum Thammil

I have no idea what the above words mean. All I know is that it’s the name of a Malayalam movie. Nor do I understand the language as well. Yet, I do watch movies from other languages (thanks to sub-titles) because it’s nice to discover the good stuff what other languages offer.

This recent 2012 Prithviraj starrer caught my attention when I happened to watch it on a rainy evening. Where movies are made with heroes being depicted as perfect gentlemen, in this movie the hero is flawed and makes mistakes one can only imagine. It’s a story about how an MBBS student who cares nothing for other people learns the real value of his profession through a guide or let’s say, well-wisher.

In a couple of instances, when Prithviraj performs an operation on a child which eventually leads to death and in another instance, when he refuses to treat a child because he has been rebuked by the child’s father, it only makes you wonder if the director is making a fool out of the hero. It makes you wonder if the director didn't know what qualities the hero should possess. From decades, we have been worshiping heroes. We cannot tolerate the hero committing mistakes for he is assumed to be perfect in every way. Yet, the director Lal Jose goes beyond the usual movies and allows the hero to commit mistakes which every common man would do.

Though the story revolves mostly around Prithviraj about his experiences as a doctor, other characters have contributed to the story majorly. Pratap Pothen, who plays the role of a senior doctor guides the young Prithviraj when he decides to kick the profession and focus on his dissolving love life. At some point in life, we all yearn for a guide or a teacher or just some person who throws light into our path.

A beautiful movie made in the recent times, it displays the other side of doctors which we usually never look beyond. A story about love, compassion, teaching and realization clearly depicted.

You need courage to kill....

It seems to be the week of bad news. One of the highest rated bad news is always death. Death of any kind has always been the topic of discussion. First, the death of director Rituparna Ghosh, then the death of actor Abir Goswami followed by the apparent suicide of Jiah Khan.

Death, whether it is untimely or accidental or staged, turns down to just one emotion – sadness. Accidental untimely deaths come with a package of their own pain and sadness which becomes hard to accept. But when death is chosen, it becomes an altogether different scenario.

Yesterday, I glanced through the Times of India edition. First, I read the suicide of Jiah Khan who hanged herself at the age of 25 after suffering from trauma and depression. I read it first because it was a highlighted news, given that she was an actress.
The other two news articles that put me off were these:

Girl kills herself after mother scolds for breaking a mobile phone.

Teenage girl kills herself when refused to attend pal’s wedding.

These news articles made me wonder if the teenage of our generation are turning out to be a weaker pillar of the nation. Apparently, it seems that of all the options, suicide seems to be an easier outage for these children. And let me tell you this – while you need a certain amount of courage to achieve great heights in life, you need double the courage to actually kill yourself.

Looks like the teenagers as young as 12 or 14 seem to have the courage to kill themselves over a mobile phone or the refusal of not being able to attend pal’s wedding or an exam failure or a love proposal or just plain depression. Emotionally, these children are not stable as they lack acceptance to the situation. Yet, they had the necessary mental preparation to take their own lives.

They say its weakness to commit suicide because those who run away from problems are the cowards. I refuse to agree with this because I believe deep down, you need an extra nerve to actually pull the noose around your neck. For normal people, the very thought itself can send shivers. I shudder at the thought myself.

These children, who are courageous enough to kill themselves, if for a moment, had they thought about applying the same courage to the situation they faced, life would have turned out differently for them. It’s not just about having courage to do something big in life. But it’s about applying the courage in the proper direction.