It’s said that a person can fall in love more than once. But people who have loved deep and once, would say that true love happens only once. Having grown up in the fairytale world of love, I chose to believe that deepest love thrived only between man and wife. When I met my husband, I believed he was the only person I could love all my life. But God has his own ways of letting us fall in love, sometimes again and again.
Having a baby has changed a lot of things in my life. It’s probably the biggest change in my life. To think that this change occurs in almost all of our lives which is considered a perfectly natural experience baffles me beyond explanation. After all, people have been having babies ever since humans were created. Pah, there is no surprise here.
Though it’s human evolvement to grow from 2 to 3 and so on to create a family, I have found the whole experience to be life altering overnight. I have scared myself asking endless questions about how I would face a small tiny human being. In fact, even after holding my baby in my arms, I was alarmed at the reality that my days and nights were now mixed up, in a way I was not prepared for.
What followed next took my completely by surprise – which I should have foreseen (given that I had been pregnant for a whole 9 months). I lost sleep, I lost my days to nights, I woke up at wee hours to a high pitched wailing baby, I spent hours confused, fighting the hormonal mood swings ( which my friends like to refer) until I asked myself – whoa, do I really want this? Can I really handle this?
To be honest, I freaked myself out. I tried to talk to people endlessly to understand the concept of parenthood. Some said it’s the most toughest and craziest phase, some said you have to sacrifice whole of your life, some said you won’t know how time flies, some said it’s a beautiful experience and some said, you’re doomed for life. You won’t have a life anymore. (gee, that’s so encouraging)
I realized that people could have different perceptions on how they treated having a child in their lives. As I tried hard to make sense of my life, eventually but slowly, I began to fall in love. It happened gradually, without me realizing that my heart was opening up to another human being. And it didn’t happen the night I held my baby (which I thought was odd cos the movies show people being all emotional and cheesy once they see their baby).
But I did fall in love again which I had always thought wouldn’t happen. I did fall in love again with the tiny little human being. And I know that’s what all mothers do – they eventually fall in love with their children that lasts for a lifetime. I know that mother’s love is nothing to be surprised at – it’s all over the world. Despite being a mother, I became aware of the fact I could love another human being despite being in love with my husband which I think is a truly dreamlike experience.
I am simply baffled by nature’s ways. I know there are thousands of opinions about having children just like how we have opinions for almost everything in this world. I would simply like to call it magic.
To be able to fall in love again is magic.