Should I say ‘NO’?

Things have been pretty smooth in my life from very long until one day I began to ponder that a smooth life is actually very boring. I knew this was what I had asked for. No people to bother me, a room just for me (luckily I don’t have room matesJ), extended space whenever asked and no attachments whatsoever. That is my idea of perfect life having not too many people to stick around me which gives me ample time for writing and reading. But solitude is not my cup of tea for long. I do have my own set of friends who are there for me whenever I need while I try hard to reciprocate the same. Sometimes, I can be really hard on people.

Now, just when I thought that I had settled in my life with the perfect set of people and perfect schedule, I get a roomie. Wow! (ugggggggggh, I am groaning inside). That was the last thing I needed. Well, anyway there was this girl who landed from a southern part of southern India who wore this look of calmness and innocence that could draw anyone but not me. I was too busy to notice new people in my life. I genuinely do not have the time for new ones. Cos I felt it was hard enough to find time for the old friends, new ones would just raise expectations. That was something I never wanted.

She, my new room mate, stayed calm for a week watching my activities which included returning from office, staying on calls, working on my lappy, stay on late night calls and drift off to sleep, get up next morning, rush to the bathroom, rush through the morning blues to get dressed up and land in office. (So you notice I don’t have time for new people physically or virtually). But one Friday, conversation struck between us and I thought it was not wrong to know another new person for a while.

What happened in the next few days baffled me completely. My room mate turned out to be the most talkative person on earth. Man, was I losing patience? She could talk for ages about life, love, religion and philosophy. Now, philosophy was the last thing I needed after a hectic day at office. Only when I had forced myself to switch off my mobile world to spare time for writing, my passion, she would spring to life to have night discussions.

I lack the ability to say no. For a while, I still tolerated what she had to say until realized it was she who needed more people to talk to. I, on the other hand, had enough in my life already. Pity worked for while but later on, I gave her the sign that I was simply too busy for late night philosophy. And here I am on my schedule back again. I do think if I have hurt her somewhere but then I can’t help it. It is not possible to be available for all people you meet, can you?

Why suicide is stupid?

I was just having one my most busiest days at work when I got a call from my friend demanding to talk right away. I explained him that I was in the middle of something really important and that he should wait. But he insisted that I listened to him as he was in deep trouble.

Finally, I had to listen to him for another forty five minutes in which he explained how he had become friends with a girl in college, how she cared for him when he fell sick or missed classes, how phone calls started, how they had become the best of friends… all this seemed like a common story which happens in every campus almost every day. I felt like yawning when he suddenly broke the news that she had proposed him. No big deal, friends do fall for each other, I thought.

Sadly, this friend of mine had just been brought alive from a break up so another relationship was just too much for him to handle which led him to the refusal of the proposal. A chain of events follow now which when I heard from him, really caught my attention.

She started pestering him to love her back- he kept denying- she begged him to be friends- he agreed thinking the denial would hurt her too much- she got obsessed with him- she calls him out- he refused flatly and switches off his phone- she pops in pills and slits her wrist- people around panic including him- doctors are called- friends and family are worried- she is put under intensive care.

My friend called me up because he did not know what was to be done. He wanted to get away with the situation without having a stain on his name. I told him that it was his fault that he gave lot of space for her to develop such fantasies which when denied led her to a suicide attempt. My friend, who was helpless, said that he just did not love her and never thought she would go to this extremes.

My first thought was ‘man, that girl has got real guts. You need guts to kill yourself, right’. But if one wanted to show guts there were many other things to do like running in traffic, climbing Mount Everest, watching a horror movie all alone, etc…. but why suicide?
Why would anyone want to suicide? I thought deeper and decided that suicide was definitely not courageous. It signified weakness not to face the real universe by waking up from the surreal world.

If by any chance the screws of your brain loosen up and you feel like ending up yourself, just follow these steps.
· Remember, nothing, nothing at all is permanent so this also applies to sadness. When you’re ready to experience happiness, sadness also comes along with the package.
· Expect, dream and hope. But always be prepared for anything to happen.
· Cry, break things, shout at anybody- the walls, the house, over the phone or anything. Just let the tension seep away.
· Being emotional shows human but letting emotions kill you is inhuman. So, have control over your thoughts and emotions which turn into actions.
· Have a lot of friends no matter what. Believe me; it works wonders to have friends around you.
· Have faith in yourself and God (if you’re not an atheist).

It just takes a minute of unnecessary thinking to commit suicide. It also takes a minute of thoughtful, mature and common sense thinking to understand that life is precious. So, accept that suicide is stupid.
I told my friend not to worry and that the girl will surely learn a lesson that life is not worth throwing away for things that are not in your life.