Why you should fall in love IMMEDIATELY….

Life is already so complicated that we, humans, make it even more worse with our thought process. One of the thoughts that make our lives miserable is the word ‘COMPARE’. Endless comparison with our neighbor, our friend, our colleague, our family and our spouse also!!!

There are two sides to a coin and also comparison. You can either feel good or bad about comparison.

Scene 1: Imagine you’re walking down the road. A poor man shabbily dressed wearing his brightest smile passes you. Immediately, you bless yourself because you have the comforts of being fully clothed and you obviously ignore his smile.

Scene 2: Imagine you’re walking down the same road. A rich man dressed in one of his best blazers crosses you in his black royal Mercedes wearing a glum look. You’re disappointed because you don’t own a car or a blazer but you obviously ignore the glum look because you don’t care. All you care is about what you don’t have.

So you see how comparison makes you feel bad and good, of course, it’s only temporary. These good and bad feelings keep fluctuating throughout the day when you mentally keep comparing yourself with every other person you meet.

“Oh, she doesn’t have enough money. I am lucky.”
“Man, I wonder how he bought that smartphone. I wish I had the money.”
“Gosh, I can’t believe she lost so much weight. Being beside her makes me feel huge.”
“Looks like she is gaining color on her face. I should start doing something as well.”

These are just some random thoughts which pops into our heads when we ‘COMPARE’ ourselves with every other person you meet. Imagine if you do this all day. Wouldn’t your head burst with these crazy thoughts? Guess what, even if you’re not aware of it, you are doing it throughout the day without thinking.

And for the better part, if you decide to stop shuttling your heart and mind between these seemingly unreal temporary good and bad feelings, there is actually a way to feel good about yourself ALL THE TIME. Yes, you heard it right. All the bloody time!!!

It’s a really simple mantra. You just have to fall in love with….YOURSELF. And when you do that, you don’t bother yourself about levelling yourself with another person because you know that you are the best and that nobody can be like you.

Even after reading his, you are whining under your skin, thinking how is it possible to feel good about oneself all the time. Yes, you have to feel good ALL THE TIME. It’s hard, because we all want to be different people so you will need practice to fall in love with yourself.

“But, I am so fat. These skinny looking girls make me feel inferior.” – Tell yourself, “Screw them. There are many fat people who have been famous. Moreover, there are better problems in life to think about than worrying all the time about being fat.”

“She makes more money than I do.” – Tell yourself, “Am I not happy with what I have? If not, I should be working harder. If yes, then I should ignore others and start being happy.”

“He is luckier than me. He got all things easily in life.”- Tell yourself, “I am in this situation because God thought I would learn something. I can be equally lucky if I start treating myself lucky.”

Phew! I can give endless examples but I guess you get the idea. There is really is no time for fretting and brooding with the limited time that we have on earth. You may as well learn to accept for what you are by simply falling in love because every human being is EXTRAORDINARY.

You are SPECIAL.

A movie with perfect flaws: Ayalum Njanum Thammil

Ayalum Njanum Thammil

I have no idea what the above words mean. All I know is that it’s the name of a Malayalam movie. Nor do I understand the language as well. Yet, I do watch movies from other languages (thanks to sub-titles) because it’s nice to discover the good stuff what other languages offer.

This recent 2012 Prithviraj starrer caught my attention when I happened to watch it on a rainy evening. Where movies are made with heroes being depicted as perfect gentlemen, in this movie the hero is flawed and makes mistakes one can only imagine. It’s a story about how an MBBS student who cares nothing for other people learns the real value of his profession through a guide or let’s say, well-wisher.

In a couple of instances, when Prithviraj performs an operation on a child which eventually leads to death and in another instance, when he refuses to treat a child because he has been rebuked by the child’s father, it only makes you wonder if the director is making a fool out of the hero. It makes you wonder if the director didn't know what qualities the hero should possess. From decades, we have been worshiping heroes. We cannot tolerate the hero committing mistakes for he is assumed to be perfect in every way. Yet, the director Lal Jose goes beyond the usual movies and allows the hero to commit mistakes which every common man would do.

Though the story revolves mostly around Prithviraj about his experiences as a doctor, other characters have contributed to the story majorly. Pratap Pothen, who plays the role of a senior doctor guides the young Prithviraj when he decides to kick the profession and focus on his dissolving love life. At some point in life, we all yearn for a guide or a teacher or just some person who throws light into our path.

A beautiful movie made in the recent times, it displays the other side of doctors which we usually never look beyond. A story about love, compassion, teaching and realization clearly depicted.

You need courage to kill....

It seems to be the week of bad news. One of the highest rated bad news is always death. Death of any kind has always been the topic of discussion. First, the death of director Rituparna Ghosh, then the death of actor Abir Goswami followed by the apparent suicide of Jiah Khan.

Death, whether it is untimely or accidental or staged, turns down to just one emotion – sadness. Accidental untimely deaths come with a package of their own pain and sadness which becomes hard to accept. But when death is chosen, it becomes an altogether different scenario.

Yesterday, I glanced through the Times of India edition. First, I read the suicide of Jiah Khan who hanged herself at the age of 25 after suffering from trauma and depression. I read it first because it was a highlighted news, given that she was an actress.
The other two news articles that put me off were these:

Girl kills herself after mother scolds for breaking a mobile phone.

Teenage girl kills herself when refused to attend pal’s wedding.

These news articles made me wonder if the teenage of our generation are turning out to be a weaker pillar of the nation. Apparently, it seems that of all the options, suicide seems to be an easier outage for these children. And let me tell you this – while you need a certain amount of courage to achieve great heights in life, you need double the courage to actually kill yourself.

Looks like the teenagers as young as 12 or 14 seem to have the courage to kill themselves over a mobile phone or the refusal of not being able to attend pal’s wedding or an exam failure or a love proposal or just plain depression. Emotionally, these children are not stable as they lack acceptance to the situation. Yet, they had the necessary mental preparation to take their own lives.

They say its weakness to commit suicide because those who run away from problems are the cowards. I refuse to agree with this because I believe deep down, you need an extra nerve to actually pull the noose around your neck. For normal people, the very thought itself can send shivers. I shudder at the thought myself.

These children, who are courageous enough to kill themselves, if for a moment, had they thought about applying the same courage to the situation they faced, life would have turned out differently for them. It’s not just about having courage to do something big in life. But it’s about applying the courage in the proper direction.