“Women’s intimate health, should the issues remain hushed or is it time we spoke out?”

This post is a part of the weekend blogging contest at BlogAdda.com in association with 18again.com

Women have always been the topic of discussion since centuries. As for today, there is no topic that hasn’t been discussed, thanks to advent of technology; women are able to ask questions through papers, internet, magazines, health experts and much more. No woman needs to be shy to ask questions especially if it concerns her health. The plus point here is that women can ask their doubts anonymously which protect personal issues as well.

The health of a woman has to be valued in every way possible. The problems that women face due to health are most of the times ignored in India. The fact that Indian women don’t take their health seriously leads to the subject being ignored. Though there are various health awareness camps that are being held, there are still areas where women’s intimate health issues such as sexual issues, bacterial vaginosis, Pelvic inflammatory disease, Chlamydia are not being spoken about. These are just examples but yes, there are more topics that being ignored. I bet most women haven’t even heard of these terms that are real issues dealing with women.

It’s time women brush aside the mask of embarrassment that has been used all this while to hide their problems. Simply not talking about the issue will not solve the problem. It’s time women come out of their cocooned shells and speak out their minds. When people are able to discuss their relationship issues, why the need to keep intimate health issues private?

There is need for more media spotlight on issues that deal with the intimate health of women. There are more magazines and articles provided to discuss national issues, sports, movies and entertainment. Definitely, there has to be more space for women talk. Online sites have been a handful of help because there are lots of women out there who don’t really use the internet. This gap has to be filled by the aid of newspapers, magazines and awareness programs. Hospitals and health clinics need to take this a serious concern.

Women health is a treasure, so let’s save it.

What culture is of murder?

Indian newspapers are doing a great job by getting all the stories right under our nose for our inspection and reflection, even though the life span of these stories lives in seconds. Well, stories these days are getting gruesome and terrible that one just wants to skip or read and forget about it. After all, life goes on no matter who dies or who lives. People dying in freak accidents, people killing each other for petty reasons, people killing themselves, people hatching plans to kill their kin and oh god; you don’t want to know more. The newspapers are disturbing.

Yet, these stories are not just some random stories. They are stories about those people who had once been alive just like you and me, breathing fresh air and drinking the same water that we all drink. But, they die one day in a way nobody can ever imagine.

One such incident that shook me is the death of Shafilea, a 17 year old Pakistani girl who was killed by her parents. When I read the whole coverage on NDTV, I was amazed with the kind of research the paper had done to bring the truth to its readers. That apart, the story itself is sickening. I don’t know if there could be a better word.

For those of you who don’t know this. 17 year old Shafilea was killed nine years ago in her Britain residence because her sin was that she belonged to a Pakistani family. As she grew up, she began to wear on the Britain culture which is customary. Most of us adapt to cultures because our friends, our social life and our education depends on what’s around us than what we originally hail from. Shafileabegan to have a life of her own – western clothing, boys, social life, movies and friends. To most of us, these things are absolutely normal just like how breathing is normal. Yet, Shafileahad to pay a price too huge with her life only because she fought to live life her way.

In 2003, her father, Iftikhar, 52, and her mother, Farzana, 49, killed Shafilea with a plastic bag by stuffing it inside her mouth until her heart stopped beating. That was the end of a life full of promise to retain the Pakistani culture of being cocooned in the world where girls are not allowed to live a life of their own. I want to ask the parents, if by owning their daughter’s life, they felt proud? If so, each one of would be living another’s lives. Since when did culture become more precious than our sons and daughters? This is clearly an act of shame which has been given justice after nine years by punishing the parents with life imprisonment by the Britain Police, thank to Shefani’s sister who provided the evidence being the witness.

What most people don’t realize is that nothing is permanent. Culture, status, money, people, and world – everything changes every minute even as you and I pass through day and night. We can’t control these changes, instead we learnt to adapt by making the right choices. There is no culture in killing. Murder doesn’t save culture, it destroys it. Real culture is within us, deep inside our hearts.

One life down, squashed dreams and hopes – I hold myself together until the newspaper prints another terrible story and there goes again, another life down.

Death and its ghastly face

I am 25. Most of the times, I have no idea what it means to be 25 but I do know that at this age, a person wants to live life with friends, career, love and never ending joy. These are just the basic things which every person would want from life. After all, we all are suckers for happiness. So was Pallavi who was 25 when her life was rudely or should I say gruesomely cut short by the wrath of her apartment watch guard.

There isn’t much we know about her but yes from the media and papers, I have learnt that she was a law student and a legal advisor for Farhan Aktar’s film production house. Pallavi was definitely enjoying a lucrative career with the addition of her love life in the picture as well. She must have surely had dreams just like all of us. But God decided to cut on her dreams leaving her life like the shattered glass that can NEVER be fixed.

They say when the time comes, the time comes and there is nothing anybody can do about it. I wonder if Pallavi knew that her time had come. Of course not, she wouldn’t have known, not until her guard pulled the knife at her. She wouldn’t have know it when she came to her apartment in Mumbai at night 11 pm. Nor would she have known when the lights went off and she contacted the electrician to fix it. Not when the electrician came to fix it with the company of the guard who stole her house key without her knowledge. Not when the lights went out for the second time at 1 pm.

What followed wouldn’t have given Pallavi time to think at all. The guard entered into the stranger prohibited area to rape her. Pallavi, who put up a fight to safeguard herself till the end was no match for a knife that slit her throat.

The next day, the papers and media swarmed around to catch the heart wrenching death of the 25 year old law student. The guard has been arrested and he has made the confession to the killing citing the reason to an earlier spat with the law student which didn’t go even with him. He probably thought killing her would make him even. Squashing her dreams with the knife would have given him the relief.

Such horrific rage in a human calls for a wakeup call. While this incident is ghastly and dreadful, it offers a disturbing thought of when does a human decide to kill another? If so, are his reasons justified? I wonder if there are any justifiable reasons for killing.

The word safety has lost its meaning. While the media and the debaters decide whom to blame for the safety of women, I would like to pray for Pallavi’s soul to rest in peace. It still leaves the question open – If death is certain, is there is anything at all that is certain about life? I guess, when the time comes, it does come.

F(P)light of Emotion

The below article writer's name is not mentioned protecting his identity.

I am an ordinary software engineer who jumped into this IT fraternity after my cool college days. As I grew up in the IT environment, a lot of things grew along. To name a few, stature (Ego), confidence (over confidence) and money for spending spree (for all NON-SENSE). As days passed, I gradually attained maturity in life and what’s going around. At this stage, obviously a man will become responsible and committed. I am not an exception. I too lodged into those stuffs and had things to accomplish. As my goals were set, my ultimate aim became to earn for my living. Literally to say “survival of the fittest”. So I wished for an Onshore role in my company. When I completed my tenure in my team, as usual they initiated my visa. I was eagerly waiting for my turn.

One fine day, my dad was on a business trip to Singapore for 5 days. So I went to airport to give him a send-off (even though it was not that big). I reached the airport soon and was waiting for my dad who was struck in the traffic. So I started ogling at the glimpse of beautiful NRI girls and Air Hostesses there. After sometime, it became boring. Then I saw a small Muslim family comprising of elders, many middle aged people and children standing a few meters away from me. From the way they were talking, I came to know they had come to send off one of their family person. Probably the bread winner belonging to one of the families. They were looking so simple with all ladies in burka and men in their authentic loongis. The person who was going to board the flight was alone in casuals.

They were all chatting about the good times which they had during the traveler's trip to India. The elderly person reminded about the things which were part of the travel and luggage. Children were running and playing in between the crowd there. Women were chattering about family happenings. As time became tight (I would like to use this word TIGHT because the time for flight departure was nearing, everyone’s inner instincts were holding tight), he started hugging all men and wishing them good luck for their endeavors. He got the blessings from the elders. He went to his children and advised them to be obedient in his absence. Then kissed them. Went near his spouse to wipe her tears and said something to make her strong. In all these moments, I found him smiling. He didn’t show a sign of grief like his family. The reason why he is carrying the smile is a belief that his son or daughter would achieve big feats in life. A smile is a belief that his better half would bear the entire burden in his absence. At last he left the emotional scene with the rub of his child’s finger. I was so keen in noticing his face. I saw the tears by the side when he left near the gate while dragging his trolley.

This created a big impact in my heart. Until then I was not so serious about the send off to my dad. But by then my love and affection hormones started over working. My dad arrived in a car with luggage. I helped him to transfer it into a trolley. He didn’t have much time as the traffic ate much of it. I just shook his hands holding that incident in my mind. That moment the reflex went to my heart and felt happy for some time. After the send off, I rode my bike and left the airport. When I rode over the bridge near airport, I saw an Emirates flight above my head in the sky. A small thought flashed in my mind that this flight is carrying so many dreams, commitments, tears and responsibility. I hope the flight reached its destination safely.

The discovery of Titanic

Everybody loves Titanic. The love story of Jack and Rose has been imprinted on our hearts deeply so much that the sinking of the majestic Titanic has made us cry as we watched the lovers tearing apart. Not to forget, the luxurious decks which adorned Titanic astounded us each time we saw Jack showing Rose the dolphins. And who can stop thinking about the famous arm- in- arm pose that became a worldwide symbol of love.
For us, Titanic is just a movie that definitely deserves all the Oscars that are being given away. James Cameron, the creator is worshipped for his highly talented soul to make such a stupendous movie. Even today, 15 years after the movie’s release, if aired on television, the movie has everybody glued to the screen to watch the ship sink for the umpteenth time. Ever wondered how the ship actually sank? Ever wondered how anybody discovered the Titanic after it sank? I never thought about it until I came across the book “The discovery of Titanic”. Until then, it didn’t matter how it was found. It never mattered for us to know who brought the story of Titanic alive to the world. We saw the movie, the majestic ship sinking into great waters, a heart wrenching love story – that was Titanic for us.

In the book “The discovery of Titanic” Robert Ballard, the author who is an explorer, oceanographer and Former Navy captain explains the intricacies, challenges and the conflicts involved in finding the wreck of Titanic. As the book progresses, you will comprehend that searching the Titanic was indeed a titanic task itself. Titanic was long thought to have sunk in one piece. After it sank in 1912, many schemes were implemented in vain. The essential problem was the sheer difficulty of finding and reaching a wreck that lay over 12,000 feet below the surface, in a location where the water pressure is over 6,500 pounds per square inch (simply unimaginable). The explorers would need equipments with high definition cameras to locate the debris area in the waters of the Atlantic. A number of expeditions were mounted to find Titanic but it was not until 1 September 1985 that a Franco-American expedition succeeded.

They discovered that the ship had in fact split into two before hitting the sea bed. The separated bow and stern sections lie about a third of a mile (0.6 km) apart in a canyon on the continental shelf off the coast of Newfoundland. They are located 13.2 miles (21.2 km) from the inaccurate coordinates given by Titanic's radio operators on the night of her sinking,[184] and approximately 715 miles (1,150 km) from Halifax and 1,250 miles (2,000 km) from New York. Both sections hit the sea bed at considerable speed, causing the bow to crumple and the stern to collapse entirely. The two sections are surrounded by a debris field measuring approximately 5 by 3 miles (8.0 × 4.8 km).
Robert Ballard and his team first spotted a boiler lying on the ocean bed which resembled from the pictures they had from Titanic’s maiden voyage. The boiler was the turning point that led to the discovery of the ship. The debris contained hundreds of thousands of items, such as pieces of the ship, furniture, dinnerware and personal items, which fell from the ship as she sank or were ejected when the bow and stern impacted on the sea floor. The debris field was also the last resting place of a number of Titanic's victims. Most of the bodies and clothes were consumed by sea creatures and bacteria, leaving pairs of shoes and boots – which have proved to be inedible – as the only sign that bodies once lay there.
Titanic has proved that everything that is big and proud doesn’t sail through everything safely because an ice berg can bring it all down. The legendary ship has proved to be a tragic reminder for 1500 lives that sank with the ship altogether taking down all hopes. Yet, Robert Ballard and his team were courageous enough to hail in the cold waters for days together to pay condolence for those who died on the night of April 12th, 1912.

The bow of the wrecked RMS Titanic, photographed in June 2004

The “low” ness of life

They say one should always be happy because life is short and not one moment should be wasted. When I recall that thought, I find it strange because I don’t find myself being completely happy each minute continuously for a week. May be a day, yes, when things are really going well.

Then again, sometimes, even when things are going well, there is this level of lowness which steals a part of me. I am not sure if a lot of you must have felt the same way. Some days begin with a spell of depression as if the heart doesn’t seem to find solace in anything. It’s even more frustrating when you don’t know what is wrong. What one wants is a reason. We don’t look for reasons when we are happy but gloominess demands reasoning.

And then, you try to analyze and analyze reaching nowhere wondering if music or food or a chat might help you feel better. One day you feel your spirits sunk in like the titanic which never rose to the water. The next day, you’re back to normal where you suddenly enjoy the tiniest events of life. It’s is quite strange how our mind tunes to lowness and happiness.

Rather than giving it more thought, I think there is no such thing as being happy always. Some days are bound to be the low days when all you feel is confusion for no reason. May be these low days are meant to give the good days. So, welcome the lowness and see that it bids goodbye. The Sooner the better.

The gruesome curse of fury

I have been thinking of this for quite some time – the word “anger” had always meant to me, an emotion to display a dislike or frustration or hatred. It used to be just like any other emotion, like love, happiness, sadness, moody, excitement or despair. While all the other emotions never lead to an extreme, anger is seen to result in harming other people.

In the recent times, people have given in to anger so much that it has resulted in unnatural death of innocent people. We do hear from time to time of crimes that people commit under the spell of anger. We talk about it and forget about it praying silently that we don’t meet such psychotic people. What sort of a person would kill another person because he couldn’t control his anger? You don’t even want to know about it because it’s abnormal to kill someone just because you are angry.

Majority of the world knows this which is why we scream or shout or ignore when we are angry. There might be thousands of reasons of why you don’t want a particular person existent in the world. We are human beings, designed to like and dislike but that doesn’t give us a proper reason to take someone’s life.
I am simply wondering, for the millionth time, about the 23 year old guy who killed his girl friend because he was angry that she went out with another guy one night. Was it a strong enough reason for him to decide that his girl friend shouldn’t be alive anymore? This is not it. There are various other people, normal people just like you and me, who act under circumstances that don’t seem very real. But they react based on their instincts and not consequences.

Now, I am wondering again for the millionth time, what solace does murder provide? Does killing someone solve the problem? I think it’s cowardice to kill someone. Those who commit murders under the spell of rage suffer a range of insecurities which is why they can’t bear the existence of a particular person and they decide to punish the person with death. What they don’t realize is this – the murderer is actually punishing himself in the process of killing another person. It’s easy to pick a gun or stab a knife; but what about the future? How can a person get sleep at all? There is definitely no normalcy left in such a person.

This isn’t a world where murders are allowed like marriages and child births or has it become routine? I hope not. While anger management courses are there to aid people, it’s more to do with the mental stability of human beings. There is no need of courses or counseling to control anger; instead, all it requires is a little common sense to accept that murder doesn’t provide freedom. Nor does anger give the right to take another person’s life. Murder, simply isn’t the solution and it never is.